Frequently Asked Questions

Must I have grounds to dissolve my marriage? Washington is a "no fault" state. No specific grounds are required to end a marriage, so long as the marriage is irretrievably broken. The parties are legally unmarried (single) once a decree of dissolution of marriage has been entered.

What is the difference between a legal separation and dissolution of marriage? The proceedings for a legal separation are very similar to a dissolution of marriage. The primary difference is that the parties remain married at the end of a legal separation proceeding and, therefore, cannot legally remarry without dissolving their marriage. Other than that, the same issues need to be decided: spousal maintenance, property division, parenting, and child support. Although legal separations can be converted to dissolutions of marriage after six months (in Washington), legal separations are usually not recommended unless there are strong religious or moral objections to dissolution of marriage, or there are special issues such as the need to maintain medical coverage.

Do unmarried couples have rights and obligations? Yes. With so many couples choosing long-term committed relationships that do not involve marriage, there are legal and moral rights and considerations that flow from those relationships. Because the law in this area can be complex and is evolving, we recommend that you consult with an attorney to learn about the legal rights following a non-marital relationship. The collaborative family law process is well-suited to help unmarried couples arrive at good solutions for their futures.

Do I have to be a Washington resident to file for divorce in Washington? Either the petitioning or the responding party must be a resident to file in Washington, or must be a member of the military stationed here. There is no specific time requirement. Even if you just arrived, your presence will be sufficient if you intend to permanently remain in Washington. The court may examine factors such as: land ownership, car registration, voter's registration, and address of residency, when determining whether you are in fact a resident.

Who issues a divorce decree? Only the Superior Court can actually grant a dissolution of marriage decree. Non-litigated resolutions result in an agreement that is then entered with the court with an agreed court order. In collaborative law cases, an agreement is reached, which the court will then ordinarily approve as part of an uncontested appearance.

Is a process server necessary? Not in a collaborative divorce, where service is waived. Even in non-collaborative cases, your spouse can sign either a "joinder" or an "acceptance of service" form which avoids the necessity of a process server. There is no benefit to avoiding service, and agreeing to accept service saves the expense, hassle, and possible embarrassment of formal service. It will also avoid any inadvertent service when children may be present.

What if I have needs between now and when the divorce is final?  In collaborative divorces, interim agreements are commonly reached to address immediate needs. Those agreements can address almost any topic. Commonly they may include such items such as when and how to best separate, how to tell the children about the divorce, what residential arrangements might be, how bills and expenses will be paid, and what the parental roles will be. Because the result is reached by a constructive dialogue in the collaborative process, the stage is set for making further agreements.  

If a court-based process is used instead of collaborative law, temporary orders are available from the court on motion of a party. Motions for temporary orders must be supported by evidence, usually in the form of sworn affidavits, which are filed with the court and become public. Oral testimony is ordinarily not permitted at hearings for temporary orders. The affidavits and responsive affidavits must be filed and served by the deadlines provided in the applicable rules. If financial relief is requested, a detailed "Financial Affidavit" and financial source documents are required. Most litigation-oriented lawyers recommend that temporary orders be immediately sought. The attorney's fees for such orders can often be between $2,500 and $5,000 (or more) per side, depending on the complexity. The tone set in the papers will tend to set the stage for the remainder of the case. Because each side wants to "win," statements may be made in documents that may not be flattering or accurate. While court commissioners and judges do their best, the hearings for temporary orders are often heard together with many other cases, with only a few minutes devoted to each case. 

In the collaborative divorce process, the court is not involved and formal proof is not required. Hence, the cost can be far less.  

What is a restraining order? Restraining orders typically protect parties from harassing or abusing one another (or children), selling property, or hiding property. In addition, a restraining order can provide court protection against the cancellation of insurance, the removal of furniture, unauthorized withdrawal of money from bank accounts, etc.

In collaborative law cases, restraining "orders" are exceedingly rare, because they would only be entered with the court by agreement of all parties. There is usually no need for restraining orders in collaborative cases. Most of the same issues covered by restraining orders are often covered by ground rules or the participation agreement, which are among the first documents that are signed in a collaborative case. If you do not believe that agreements can provide sufficient protection, then the collaborative process may not be appropriate for you.

Is a restraining order the same as a domestic violence protection order? A family law restraining order is different from a domestic violence "Order for Protection." Protection orders are available on an emergency basis from any District and Superior court in the State of Washington, and have simplified procedures. There is no requirement of marriage, and no requirement that a proceeding to terminate a relationship be maintained. There is no filing fee, and advocates are available at many courthouses to assist victims. If you are a victim of domestic violence, a domestic violence protection order may be able to afford you with needed protection. Forms and information are available at any courthouse or at www.courts.wa.gov. There is no equivalent in the collaborative law process for a domestic violence order of protection.

Publicly labeling someone as a domestic violence perpetrator can stigmatize that person. Often, treatment can be more effective if entered into voluntarily and without a stigmatizing label in the public record. For that reason, for non-active and mutually-acknowledged domestic violence, a collaborative divorce may be able to provide a better outcome than a litigated outcome. Appropriate structure and protections are generally essential in such cases, including agreed treatment for both the perpetrator and the victim, with accountability to ensure follow-through.

How important is information before settling? Transparency and exchanging complete information is very important. You (and your spouse) should know the value of all assets, debts, income, etc., before settling. You should also know what effect the various alternatives would have on your future. Every settlement should include getting legal advice from an attorney who is skilled and experienced in the area of family law, and the advice of a qualified financial analyst who carefully considers your individual circumstances. You should not sign any agreement until your attorney has reviewed it with you. If you do not have an attorney, you should hire one before signing any agreement.

In the collaborative law process, there is a contractual requirement that all material information be exchanged. Both sides are prohibited from taking advantage of mistakes of the other. Financial information is usually exchanged through a neutral financial specialist, usually a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. A team is used to ensure that you have legal, financial, and emotional support, and to address all aspects of a divorce much more efficiently (therefore less expensively) than in a traditional legal case. A child specialist may be called in to advocate to both parents for the child. In collaborative law cases, you have everything you need to make fully informed and healthy decisions for your future and your family's future. Because specialists are used in their fields and in coordination, efficiency is maximized and cost is minimized.

Does a adversarial divorce provide better access to information than is available in a collaborative divorce? Probably not. In litigation, formal "discovery" procedures are available to get information. Those procedures typically include interrogatories (written questions), requests for production of documents, depositions, and subpoenas for documents. However, even in most litigation, the information is provided by the other party. In a litigation case, the other party is usually motivated or tempted to provide the information that is requested but little more. If a party withholds information that is not obvious, it is usually impossible to know that, let alone do much about it.

In a collaborative case, the participation agreement specifically requires that both parties voluntarily disclose all material information. It also provides that the parties may not take advantage of mistakes of the other, so there is no technical loophole in case a question for information is not asked just the right way. Specific lists of documents to be disclosed are usually generated by the financial analysts, and all parties may ask for information that must be provided. The attorneys are even required to withdraw if they believe their client is not abiding in good faith with the agreement to disclose information. At the end of the case, the parties typically sign an agreement under oath that specifically warrants that they have each fully disclosed all information pertaining to property, debt, income, and expenses. The level of protection can therefore be higher than if the decision is made by trial, where that type of "warranty" is not made under oath. By mutual agreement, subpoenas can still be issued to get information from third parties. While the collaborative divorce case does not guarantee that someone will hide or withhold information, the structure and safeguards in the process may make it less likely that they will try to do so than in a litigated case.

How long will a dissolution of marriage take? By law, a final decree ending a marriage cannot be entered until 90 days after filing or service of the papers, whichever occurs later. If you and your spouse agree on all issues, a Decree of Dissolution may be entered on the 91st day or later.

In the collaborative law process, every couple makes its own decision as to when the filing is appropriate for them. One couple may decide to file for dissolution when they start the process; another couple may decide to delay filing until some or all agreements are reached. As noted above, some options are no longer available once a court filing has occurred. 

If a case is filed with the court, you and your spouse are unable to agree on every issue by the trial date, the decision will be made by a judge following a trial. At a trial, both sides will present their evidence and the judge will make a decision based on the evidence and the applicable law. No judge, no matter how well informed, will be able to understand your circumstances the way you do. The evidence rules limit the information that a judge may consider. The judge bases her or his decision based on what is proved by a preponderance of the evidence that is allowed.

In a collaborative case, all information that is important to you can be considered, even if it cannot be "proved." Instead of limiting information to what is allowed by the law, you and your spouse may -- and should -- consider all information that is important to you. In the unlikely event that you are unable to reach agreement, your collaborative law attorney will not go to trial, because the collaborative law participation agreement states that neither attorney may represent a client in court (other than for entry of agreed orders or other similar agreed matters). The contract binds both parties and both lawyers, and helps to ensure that negotiations are conducted in good faith and that neither lawyer has even the remotest financial incentive other than to work in his/her client's best interests.

Can a dissolution of marriage be settled? Yes. Your case can be settled at any time – even before the case is filed with the Court. Almost all cases are settled, including non-collaborative cases. There are many reasons to settle instead of going to trial. These reasons include: (a) trial is extremely expensive, (b) trial is emotionally difficult for you and the witnesses, (c) the outcome at trial is difficult to predict, (d) the future relationship between parents and between parents and children can be permanently impaired due to trial.

There is a significant difference between a "conventional" divorce settlement and a collaborative divorce settlement. In a conventional case, the parties and lawyers spend most of their time and resources collecting evidence and proof, and preparing for trial, even though trial is not likely to occur. They try to focus on their strengths, the weaknesses of the other, and try to reach settlement through power tactics and using the law tactically. When an settlement is reached, it can often feel like a disappointment, because of the expense and compromise.

In a collaborative divorce, the parties and lawyers do not spend time or resources preparing for a trial that is highly unlikely to occur. Instead, their time is efficiently focused on settling by sharing information, determining what is most important to each, and taking everyone's concerns into account. Better collaborative lawyers have many creative dispute resolution techniques available to help parties settle difficult cases in a manner that is respectful of the parties' future after their divorce is over.

Do I have to attend the parenting class? You do if you have children, even if you are participating in a collaborative divorce. Almost every County requires that parents take an approved parenting class as part of the dissolution of marriage. Most parents report that it is interesting and helps them understand what the children are going through. In some Counties, including King County, your case cannot be completed without the parenting class.

What is your trial experience? The attorneys of the Law Office of J. Mark Weiss, P.S., have substantial trial experience -- literally decades -- with excellent reputations as skilled trial attorneys. However, because of extremely significant and inherent disadvantages of court for family law cases, we have decided to focus our practice on resolving cases without court involvement. We represent clients who go through mediations (with or without counsel) and act as lawyers using the collaborative law model. We also act as mediators in cases. After decades of experience and seeing the effect on families, we come to the conclusion that litigation is not the best answer for most family law cases.

Should a lawyer represent or advise me? A family law attorney can be of great assistance. A skilled lawyer will be able to assist you in selecting the most appropriate dispute resolution process for you, and in getting to a fair resolution.  He or she can assist you by advising you of your options, properly preparing papers, advising you about the law and legal requirements, appearing in court, and facilitating settlement. A qualified lawyer can get things done right the first time, efficiently and correctly. In a collaborative law case, both parties must have their own lawyers.

How about mediators? There are lots of different types of mediation. It is a surprise to many people that mediation is not a regulated profession. As a result, there are many different skill levels and approaches for mediators, regardless of the diplomas that may hang on the wall.

Non-attorney mediators will usually use a "facilitative" or "transformative" form of mediation, which does not inform the participants of their rights, but which uses mediation skills to facilitate a discussion about the issues that matter most, or to provide personal growth with respect to the lessons that can be learned from the conflict. The mediator's personal talent, skill, education, and experience are factors that will affect the mediation experience. A dissolution of marriage is a legal proceeding and a settlement relates to legal rights and obligations, making it essential to have the legal and tax issues reviewed with a lawyer and/or accountant, especially if you use a non-lawyer mediator.

Just as non-lawyer mediators usually do not have legal training, many lawyer-mediators do not have training or significant experience in mediation skills. Practicing law in an adversarial manner places lawyers in a different mindset from that of mediators. As a result, most lawyer-mediators will use an "evaluative" method of mediation, where they provide their opinion of the likely legal outcome of a case, and attempt to seek resolution based on those views and legal principles. Other lawyers are more focused on mediation, and may be trained in facilitative and/or transformative mediation techniques, and may use any of a number of mediation skills and techniques. Most collaborative law organizations view facilitative mediation training as an essential basic skill to master for effective collaborative law work. 

Should I use a paralegal service? We do not recommend it. Contrary to popular belief, there are no licenses for "paralegals." Anyone, regardless of background or education, can call himself or herself a "paralegal." A "paralegal" is not the same as a "paramedic." Paramedics are carefully trained and regulated and work under a doctor’s supervision. Paralegals may or may not be trained, are unregulated, may not be working under supervision, and frequently prepare documents that are the legal equivalent of brain surgery. Many of the mistakes that a "paralegal" can create by improperly preparing documents cannot be fixed. If a mistake can be fixed, it will be much more expensive than doing it right the first time. Lawyers often employ "paralegals" who work under their supervision to keep costs down; the advantage is that the lawyer will review and remain responsible for the documents.

What are unbundled services? More and more lawyers provide so-called "unbundled" services, where they only prepare the paperwork necessary to complete a dissolution of marriage, or only provide other limited specific services. This differs from traditional legal representation, where a lawyer is required to perform all tasks. 

Must I tell my attorney everything? Yes. Your attorney should not be surprised by hearing information for the first time from others. Be honest – it only helps you and allows your attorney to be prepared and to counsel you appropriately. Your attorney cannot assist you with things he or she does not know about. Also, if an attorney discovers that you have not been honest, he or she may have to withdraw from representing you further.

Remember that, with rare exceptions, everything you tell your attorney is confidential.