Collaborative Divorce

The Parties Control the Outcome in a Collaborative Divorce

The Collaborative Divorce Agreement Ensures the Divorce Lawyers Are Solely Focused on Resolution

To ensure that the attorneys are fully and solely aligned with the clients' goals of seeking resolution, Collaborative Divorce attorneys are disqualified from representing their clients in court in any adversarial process. Collaborative divorce attorneys can only advocate for a settlement -- for an agreement. Because going to court to get a decision is no longer an option, many Collaborative Divorce attorneys invest substantial time and effort to learn new and additional negotiation and settlement skills that truly makes them “settlement specialists.” The disqualification requirement in a Collaborative Divorce also helps provide comfort that the proceedings will remain as confidential as possible -- neither attorney can ever use information in an adversarial proceeding. The disqualification provision therefore can provide significant advantages for those who are seeking to reach a negotiated divorce resolution. The primary disadvantage from the disqualification provision is that in the event the Collaborative Divorce process terminates before a final settlement, all parties will need to transition to new attorneys. With about 90% of Collaborative cases resulting in settlement within the process, many divorcing couples feel that the advantages of the disqualification requirement outweigh an unlikely potential disadvantage; many divorcing couples find they are relieved to be working with lawyers who will not litigate, and who will instead focus only on a problem-solving approach.

The Goal is a Divorce Agreement that Is Durable

The measure of success in Collaborative Divorce cases is achieving a resolution that is as durable as the circumstances will allow. Achieving a durable resolution instead of a temporary cease-fire requires that both parties not only accept the settlement when it is made, but also continue to accept it thereafter. While every divorce, no matter the process, results in binding legal documents at the end, the goal in a Collaborative Divorce is to reach agreements so that future enforcement with the courts is not necessary. The thinking, work, and agreements that precede the legal documents is what counts, and the legal documents merely put the agreements into effect. Achieving that decree of durability requires a different way of negotiating, and a Collaborative Divorce attorney needs substantial additional training, experience, and skill to be able to assist clients who are interested in that type of outcome. A durable divorce resolution also reduces the likelihood for the need for future post-divorce legal services and leaves both parties better equipped for their futures, including a better ability to co-parent children and to productively resolve future disputes. Achieving such a durable outcome means that as a ground rule all commit to negotiate the disputes in the divorce with a high degree of integrity and in good faith, with full disclosure of all information, and complete consideration of all concerns.

Addressing Priorities and Goals Are Key in Collaborative Divorce

Resolving disputes means that disputes need to be identified and discussed from a place where the discussion can be productive. When issues and disputes are not identified and addressed, generally they are also not resolved. Collaborative Divorce lawyers will therefore normally spend time to help parties discover their highest interests, and goals, then to prioritize them, and to use them as a guiding light towards resolution. Those interests, priorities, and goals are discussed in a safe and respectful environment, and with full disclosure of the facts and transparency.

To arrive at a truly durable and long-term solution, everyone's priorities and goals need to be openly yet safely be considered and discussed. Therefore, a Collaborative divorce lawyer will not make arguments for you in an adversarial manner, but will advocate for you in a different manner. The lawyers help guide the parties to a mutually satisfying outcome; instead of attempting to make arguments to “win” at the expense of one party, the lawyers help ensure that both parties’ needs are met so that the agreement can be durable. While perhaps paradoxical, both parties are effectively partners in ending their marriage with integrity and creating an agreement that is durable for both.

The Structure of a Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce cases normally involve a structured and systematic face-to-face dialogue facilitated by attorneys and other professional team members.

The initial steps involve starting the process, identifying each person's interests and goals, exchanging necessary information, and learning about each individual's and children's future needs and concerns. After receiving appropriate legal, tax, and other information necessary to make fully informed decisions, the parties brainstorm options and co-create their resolution. The core of the process normally consists of three sequential stages:  

     (1)  Sharing and learning all relevant factual and legal information (education) -- sometimes called the "Information Gathering Stage";
     (2)  Identifying interests and concerns, and brainstorming options -- the "Option Generating Stage"; and
     (3)  Co-creating a resolution -- the "Agreement Stage."

By proceeding through these stages in an orderly fashion, important pieces are not overlooked and the likelihood of reaching a durable agreement is enhanced.

The Participation Agreement Has Protections

The Participation Agreement is the document that formalizes the Collaborative Divorce process. It is signed by the clients and attorneys at the beginning of a Collaborative divorce and provides many protections to ensure the integrity of the process. For example, both spouses agree to provide all information and documents that could impact the outcome of the divorce. The agreement includes other protections for all, including standards of behavior and a requirement that everyone provides complete information. For a sample of what a Participation Agreement might look like, click HERE.

Skills of Collaborative Divorce Attorneys

Collaborative Law attorneys have all the knowledge and drafting skills of conventional attorneys. Additionally, skilled attorneys who practice Collaborative Law will have additional education and experience to learn the necessary skills to succeed in the Collaborative Law process. The skills include learning how to productively facilitate difficult conversations, and to understand and provide the necessary structure to help people who have conflicts reach resolution. To work effectively in this model, lawyers need to learn how to productively confront rather than avoid conflict, and need to learn how to deploy interventions that allow the parties to productively discuss the issues that cause conflict. These additional skills are not yet taught to a meaningful degree in law schools, nor part of the hands-on experience attorneys normally receive, which is why additional training and experience is needed. 

The Collaborative Divorce Professional Team

The Collaborative Law process is a team approach towards problem-solving. Regardless of the composition of any particular team, the process requires effective cooperation in service of the goal of reaching a resolution. To provide a fully supported environment, an interdisciplinary Collaborative Divorce professional team is often recommended. The professional team usually consists of a financial specialist, one or two divorce/communications coaches, and a child specialist. The purpose for a professional team is to provide the highest level of service in the most cost-effective manner. The professional with the greatest expertise provides services within that professional's expertise. In addition to significant substantive background in their areas, all team members also need to be trained in Collaborative Divorce and mediation. By working together as a cohesive team, the value provided to the clients can be greater than the sum of the parts. More information about the professional team is on our The Collaborative Team page.

All team members work together in a cohesive manner to provide the best possible support for clients, and the highest quality of service.

Collaborative Divorce Is Confidential

Collaborative Divorce proceedings are confidential, to ensure that all options can be safely considered and discussed. To help protect confidentiality further, you will never see the attorney for your spouse making an argument against you in court.

A Client's Experience of Collaborative Divorce

We were thrilled to learn that Liz, one of our former clients, recently discussed her experience of Collaborative Divorce in an article in Seattle Woman Magazine. To read the article, click HERE.

For More Information About Collaborative Divorce

If you are interested in learning more about the Collaborative Divorce process, contact the Law Office of J. Mark Weiss, P.S., at (206) 622-6707 or by clicking HERE and providing your name, phone number, and a convenient time for us to call you.

There are several excellent books available on Collaborative Divorce, listed on the Recommended Reading page of this site, and which are widely available from booksellers. The links below provide additional information from other sources:

American Bar Association Handbook for Clients concerning Collaborative Divorce. (PDF format)

IACP Collaborative Practice Knowledge Kit (PDF format)

International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (External link that includes a directory of Collaborative Law professionals)

King County Collaborative Law (External link that includes a directory of Collaborative Law professionals)

For a video clip from NBC's The Today Show on Collaborative Divorce, discussing it from the clients' and attorneys' perspectives, click here: 'The Today Show' clip on Collaborative Divorce