Law Office of J. Mark Weiss, P.S.
200 W. Mercer Street, Suite 410
Seattle, WA 98119
(206) 622-6707

Helping Divorcing and Separating Clients Resolve Conflict  
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Choose a More Respectful Divorce
We help divorcing and separating clients resolve disputes so they can move forward. We help our clients reach agreements in their divorce or separation in a respectful manner. Reaching common ground can be challenging without professional assistance. Collaborative divorce attorney and mediator J. Mark Weiss provides the assistance needed to help you reach a consensual agreement. You can choose to make your own decisions in your divorce instead of having someone else make those decisions for you.


Divorce Court Has Limits in Its Ability to Restructure Families
In divorce court, too often everyone loses—even the “winner.” Courts are simply not well-suited to restructuring families. Court proceedings perpetuate power struggles and are very expensive—both financially and emotionally. To add insult to injury, in divorce court intimate details about your life are in the public record (available to anyone). There are other ways: instead of turning over their most important decisions to strangers, more and more divorcing and separating couples are choosing Collaborative divorce or divorce mediation. These couples make their own decisions by selecting a divorce that is more respectful, and which better preserves relationships, dignity, and privacy. This can be done through Collaborative Divorce and divorce mediation with the assistance of divorce lawyers who focus on helping couples in conflict come to agreement.

Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

  • You retain the important decisions about your life for yourself ... instead of turning over those decisions to divorce lawyers and/or the court.

  • At all times, you are an active participant in the process.

  • You have the assistance of divorce lawyers whose entire focus and effort is to help you reach settlement.

  • Your agreements can be as unique as you are.

  • You can have the benefit of education and support from other helpful divorce professionals, such as neutral financial specialists, child specialists, and divorce coaches.

  • You can avoid adding to the pain, and can realize real solutions, by working through the issues instead of engaging in a power struggle.

  • You can preserve your post-divorce relationships while working through difficult issues.

  • You and your spouse work jointly to find solutions within a process structure that helps you stay on track.

Collaborative Divorce is not for everyone, so be sure to consult with a lawyer who is trained in the Collaborative Divorce process so you can make the right choice for you.

Read more about Collaborative Divorce.

A Divorce Settlement Consistent with Your Values and Priorities
When you and your spouse reach resolutions in your divorce that align with your values and priorities, the agreements are better and more durable. We work with you by listening carefully and focusing on your priorities for a divorce agreement. We then explore options and work with you to help create an agreement with your spouse—a reality-based divorce settlement that is consistent with your values and priorities.

 

Realities of Old-Style Divorce

Hiring divorce lawyers for an old-style divorce (which often involves the court (or an arbitrator) to various degrees), is an option that might be most appropriate for you. It also has disadvantages. Here are some realities about that option:

  • In a court divorce, a judge makes life-altering decisions for you ... and may get it wrong. You get to live with the consequences.

  • Court divorce proceedings are extremely expensive (more than you would likely imagine or be quoted).

  • Old-style divorce often starts a destructive cycle where one court battle or power struggle merely follows another. These cycles can go on for years with “modifications” and other proceedings. 

  • A court divorce inevitably exacts an emotional toll for all involved. It is not uncommon for everyone to emerge from court embittered.

  • Often, court decisions become meaningless “paper judgments”—court orders that are not followed. Starting in a that require additional court procedures to be enforced and even end up never being followed.  

  • The court usually does a poor job restructuring families. Most judges, divorce lawyers, and arbitrators lack training in family systems or child development. Most don't even understand that they are simply perpetuating an unhelpful power struggle, and contribute to creating dysfunctional post-divorce families.

  • In a court divorce, intimate details of your finances and other matters become a public record, often permanently available to anyone.

  • Old-style divorce is structured as an adversarial system, where it is assumed that advocacy must be “zealous” (a euphemism for: scorched earth). The court makes decisions based on arguments made by divorce lawyers, who generally argue to “win” something that cannot be winnable.

What to expect in your divorce? Read more about divorce and family law.

Alternatives to an Old-Style Divorce and Old-Style Divorce Lawyers
Instead of the old-style way of having a stranger make the most important decisions in your life, you have the option of selecting a process in which you make your own divorce decisions with professional support. Most old-style divorce lawyers do not yet offer that option. Both the Collaborative Divorce process and divorce mediation are designed to allow you to make the decisions about your post-divorce future. When supported by divorce lawyers who are trained and experienced in this style of divorce settlements, couples can often get a divorce that preserves relationships, dignity, and privacy. Instead of engaging in a dynamic that tries to create a “winner” at the expense of a “loser,” this new style of divorce focuses on the questions that need to be addressed and solutions to those questions. This is one of the prime focuses of the divorce lawyers in a Collaborative Divorce. Similarly, a divorce mediation a impartial mediator focuses solely on helping you reach agreement. We do not view our lawyer's job as going to court to try to “win” a divorce, because all too often even the “winner” loses—along with everyone else.

A Divorce Settlement Can Help Protect Your Privacy
Collaborative Divorce and mediation in divorce are especially well suited for protecting privacy. Instead of placing personal information in a public court record, negotiations in Collaborative Divorce and divorce mediation remain private and confidential. And, unlike a decision following a divorce trial, many of the details of your divorce settlement can remain confidential by placing them in a private binding contract. In the Collaborative Law divorce process, everyone signs an agreement at the start that the divorce discussions and proceedings will remain confidential and that the lawyers' only role can be to focus on settlement. No other divorce process offers that degree of privacy protection that applies to all professionals as an inherent part of the structure from the beginning to end. Similarly, in divorce mediation, everyone signs an agreement that the divorce negotiations will remain confidential.

 


Seeking a solution instead of a battle?

Call or email:
(206) 622-6707
info@mark-weiss.com

   

Collaborative Divorce Lawyers and Family Law Mediation in Seattle
At least tens of thousands of divorcing couples have experienced that Collaborative Divorce or divorce mediation resulted in excellent outcomes. Both of these processes involve the use of dialogue to arrive at agreements.

  •  Collaborative Divorce provides couples support from trained Collaborative divorce attorneys. The attorneys' sole focus and effort is to help you reach a lasting agreement. Divorcing couples reach agreements based on what is most important to themselves and their families. The lawyers provide facilitation, advice, and assurance that all of the legal aspects of the divorce are handled correctly.

  • In divorce mediation a neutral mediator assists the divorcing couple reach agreements. Additional information about Collaborative Law, mediation, and divorce is on the Family Law and Divorce Options and Collaborative Divorce sections of this site.


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Suitable for Many Divorce and Family Law Cases
Collaborative Divorce and divorce mediation are both effective processes that have helped many couples successfully resolve their disagreements and reach a divorce settlement. While Collaborative Divorce and divorce mediation work extremely well for many divorcing couples, no process can be right for everyone and it is important that you make the choice that is right for you. We encourage you to learn as much as possible so you can make the right choice. At an initial consultation, we will help you evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of each of your options given your circumstances, so you can better select the right divorce process. 


Divorce Mediation

In divorce mediation, an impartial mediator assists you and your spouse to reach agreements. The mediator facilitates your work together so you stay on track and the discussion is productive. Divorce lawyers are normally not in the room with the parties during a facilitative divorce mediation. However, parties often have divorce lawyers to advise them and write up the final documents in a mediation process. Read more about Divorce Mediation.


A Divorce Resolution Is Better for Children
By helping divorcing parents preserve a working relationship, Collaborative Divorce allows parents to reach better solutions for their children and to build a new and better co-parenting relationship for their future. In our experience, parents rarely work better together after a child custody or visitation fight in court, and the children are often victims of a court battle in their parents' divorce. Collaborative Divorce is family-focused divorce, and allows the opportunity for parents to work together to build a healthy and cooperative parenting partnership and to model for their children how to best resolve conflict.

Over 25 Years of Experience as a Seattle Divorce Attorney
Rated among the “25 best” family law attorneys in Washington State by Washington Law and Politics magazine, lawyer J. Mark Weiss has in the last 25 years helped many couples divorce. Mark has extensive divorce litigation, mediation, negotiation and Collaborative Divorce experience.
His practice is now focused on facilitative mediation and Collaborative Divorce. Mark received the “Attorney of the Year” award from the Washington State Bar Association Family Law Section, was named a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers after passing rigorous exams, has continuously been on the “Super Lawyers” list of Washington Law and Politics Magazine since 2007, and is “AV” rated (preeminent) by Martindale-Hubbell. Having retired from divorce litigation and conventional representation in 2007, he is now entirely focused on family law dispute resolution. He also trains other professionals in the Collaborative Divorce process and dispute resolution methods. For more background information, click the “About Us” tab above.

Educating Yourself About Divorce

1. Explore this site to learn as much as you can about divorce, available divorce process options, and working with divorce lawyers. Learn about all of the Divorce Options that are available, so you can make the best choice for yourself.

2. Call to make an appointment for a consultation, so you can:

  • Explore what may be most important for you in your post-divorce future.

  • Understand the different divorce options and evaluate which one(s) may be best for your unique situation.

  • Identify the factors that will help you determine whether a Collaborative Divorce, divorce mediation, or another divorce process is best for your unique circumstances—what might be right for someone else may not be right for you.

  • Plan what's next based on what is most suitable for you.

3. Learn about Selecting Divorce Lawyers.

How to schedule an appointment? Read More


Convenient Seattle Law Office - Serving Seattle, Mercer Island, Bellevue, Kirkland, King County, and Surroundings
From our convenient Seattle location, we serve clients from throughout King County and beyond, including Bellevue, Kirkland, Mercer Island, Redmond, Everett and surrounding areas.  Mark provides guidance, insight, skill, and support to help guide you through your divorce or separation, or other family law matter. 


DIVORCE TIP OF THE MONTH

Who does not want a “fair” result in their divorce? When you go to a divorce lawyer, that lawyer may discuss his or her belief of what is fair. But, if you consult a different divorce lawyer, that lawyer will say that something completely different is fair. Your spouse's lawyer says that something different again is fair, but surely that cannot be. Each member of your family and every friend seems to have a different belief about what is fair in divorce. With all of these vastly different opinions, who are you to believe? After all, you want to have information that is helpful in your divorce. With such a vast range of views, the question of what may or may not seem to be “fair” is probably not very helpful. The reason is because asking someone about “fairness” in divorce is asking that person for their subjective values. And, we all know, values are shaped based on many factors. For yourself, be honest with yourself whether your own sense of what's “fair” in your divorce is shaped by factors such as your emotions about events or circumstances (for example blame, anger, guilt, shame, sadness, depression, optimism, etc.), the influences of others (for example, if a family member or friend says someone “deserves” x), your family of origin (for example, what was deemed fair between siblings when you grew up), your beliefs about the experiences of others (for example, if your heard that John Doe got a particular financial result in his divorce), your social and economic status, and the culture where you are from.  When you think about it, with all of these factors influencing what people consider to be “fair,” it is hardly surprising that the answer is uniquely different with every person—including you, your spouse, and every lawyer, judge, and other human being you ask. If so, then perhaps asking what might be “fair” for your divorce may not be the most useful inquiry—you'll be getting an answer that reflects that person's subjective view of the world rather than anything that gets you closer to a divorce agreement. And, their view could well be out of alignment with what you want out of life. Perhaps a more useful inquiry might be to explore for yourself what will be important to you from your divorce as you look towards the next chapter in your life. Only you can know your own goals, and only you can set your own objectives that are consistent with those goal. While others (such as divorce lawyers, consultants, etc.) can provide you useful information, only you can set your objectives in life. Another more useful inquiry might be what would be an acceptable outcome to you and to your soon-to-be ex-spouse. If your goal is to reach a divorce settlement, then what may be mutually acceptable is a key question; however, that question must be coupled with the question about how you and your spouse can make the best use of available resources so you can set sail into the future, and your individual senses of integrity.

>> Prior Divorce Tips of the Month

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J. Mark Weiss is a Seattle divorce lawyer and family law attorney serving the greater King County area, including Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland, Redmond, and Mercer Island.